August 1, 2023
Originally recorded: September 3, 2022
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We're accustomed to thinking of love almost exclusively in terms of self-centered needs. This is called ego-based love. It’s surrounded by all of the things that make us feel good or happy.
But if we really love somebody, we love their essence. We love their mere existence, not what they do for us. This is unconditional love.
Unconditional love is the foundation of a happy relationship, and it is not only attainable, it is a birthright for absolutely everybody.
So how do you go from ego-based love to unconditional love? Each day, instead of calculating what your friend or partner or coworker has or hasn’t done for you, ask instead, “What have I done for them today?” And in your giving in needs to be a little bit difficult.
This is the doorway to unconditional love.
By now, I hope you’ve taken an honest look at the quality of your relationships and where unrealistic expectations may be straining them. Today, I want to talk about elevating our relationships.
We're accustomed to thinking of love almost exclusively in terms of self-centered needs—what I feel, what I want. This is ego-based love. However, if we really love somebody, we love their essence. We love their mere existence, not what they do for us. When we truly love someone, there’s no scorekeeping. This is unconditional love.
Love, based on sharing, is powerful and lasting. In such a relationship, the only expectations are to be heard, respected, and treated with human dignity. Unconditional love is the foundation of a happy relationship, and it is not only attainable, it is a birthright for absolutely everybody.
How do we make the shift from ego-based love to unconditional love?
Before we go further, I want you to re-read your answers from yesterday’s exercise. Now, regarding the same relationship, I want you to ask yourself (and write down the answers!):
Every person is worthy of love, and every relationship has the potential to bring us great fulfillment. But love is more than just a feeling; it is a process requiring continual attention. And the only way to receive love is to give it away.
One of the great gifts in studying Kabbalah is that we become more aware of the energies around us. Each day, week, and month has its own unique energy with differing powers that inform us. This month of Virgo is one of the most consequential months of the year, full of the energy of deep transformation. Over the next 30 days, we will assess, evaluate, and rethink 10 of the most important areas of your life. First, we will look at what is working and what isn’t working. I will help you identify your desire – the thing that you really want for that area of your life–not the thing you only think you want, or think you should want, or what others think you should want. From there, you will make your plan. You’ll make it actionable, doable, and motivating. I’m so excited and grateful that you are all joining me on this journey to rethink, reframe, recalibrate, and re-energize your life.