You Can’t Always Get What You Want, But You Can Still Be Happy

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You Can’t Always Get What You Want, But You Can Still Be Happy

Adapted from Monica and Michael Berg’s Spiritually Hungry podcast. Listen and subscribe here.
April 19, 2021
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Whenever we have a chance to stop and reflect on our lives, it can often cause us to focus on the things that we lack. We scroll through social media and see the images of happy, fulfilled people and compare our lives to theirs. We might wallow in feelings of jealousy, longing, or sadness.

This is especially true during stressful times like the COVID-19 pandemic. Some of us have had more time in solitude to realize how lonely we are. Others have had to spend much more time with the people they live with, highlighting the parts of their relationships that are strained or unhealthy. We have all had to reprioritize our lives and find new ways of doing things.

It’s necessary sometimes for us to recognize the areas of lack in our lives because they show us where we need to grow and focus our energy. But more often than not, we let them lead us to dark thoughts of self-pity. How do we stay happy when there are things missing from our lives?

Here are 3 tips to stay grounded when you experience lack in your life:

  1. Count your blessings… literally. Appreciation and lack aretwo sides of the same battle: the more that we appreciate our blessings, the less lack we feel. The opposite is also true. The less appreciation we have, the more pain we feel from the things we want. Appreciation is the remedy for that pain.

    Focus on awakening gratitude. Make a list of things you appreciate every day. You have the power to choose to be grateful and refuse to give energy to feelings of sadness or anger. Every time you feel lack, remember you have the greatest gift of all: life. The more you grow your appreciation, the less pain you will feel from the things you lack, and the more you can focus on growing in those areas from a place of peace.
  1. Know that you are worthy. Have you ever wanted something but a voice inside told you that you didn’t deserve it? Many of us have had these conflicting thoughts before, where our desires contradict with our feelings about ourselves. We want love, but don’t think we deserve it. We want a better job, but don’t think we have earned it.

    When you operate from a place of self-love, you can grow anything: more love, more kindness, more money, more fulfillment. Loving yourself means loving all of you, even if there are things you know you need to work on. It doesn’t mean that you are overconfident and have an inflated ego. Confidence is not the same thing as self-love. In fact, some of the most confident, outgoing people are the most insecure and self-deprecating. The people who truly love themselves are able to show kindness even when it isn’t warranted and don’t need recognition for it or approval.

    Take some time to assess if you really love yourself on the deepest levels without external validation. Do you think that you are worthy of the things you want? Do you believe you are enough, flaws and all? Be kind and compassionate to yourself. How can the Creator give you the things you want if you don’t think you are ready to receive them? Love yourself and allow yourself to receive the blessings of the Creator with open arms.
  1. Prepare yourself for good things. OK, you might be thinking, “I’m grateful for my blessings, and I know that I’m worthy, but I’m still not where I want to be.” Remember that the Creator doesn’t give us anything we can’t handle, whether it’s a challenge or a blessing.

    For instance, if you are having trouble finding your soulmate, it could be that you are still growing into the person you need to become when you meet your partner. Maybe you have a jealous streak that you need to work through first before that person comes into your life because otherwise, the relationship won’t work. We tend to focus externally on what we are or aren’t getting from the Universe instead of looking inward to find ways to improve ourselves. If there’s something missing in your life, ask yourself how you can grow into the person who is ready for those gifts.

    There is a lot of internal work that we need to do to prepare ourselves for the blessings that are coming our way. Every person has their own life path. The more we grow into kinder, more giving, selfless people, the more we signal to the Creator that we are ready for those blessings to enter our lives.

We all experience the pain of lack in our lives sometimes. It’s part of being human. We aren’t meant to have everything just handed to us. It takes appreciation, self-love, and a focus on growth to find lasting fulfillment. When we have all three, we not only attract more blessings into our lives, but we feel happier throughout the process. We might not always get what we want when we want it, but we can still find joy.

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