Should I Make a Big Change? 6 Tips to Shake Things Up

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Should I Make a Big Change? 6 Tips to Shake Things Up

Adapted from Monica and Michael Berg’s Spiritually Hungry podcast. Listen and subscribe here.
May 27, 2024
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The idea of change can be scary. Even when we long for something new or different, the fear of the unknown can often hold us back. The truth is that change is inevitable. We are changing all the time, whether we realize it or not. We can, however, choose which direction we want to grow in and use change as an opportunity for tremendous personal transformation.

Here are 6 tips for making big changes in your life:

1. Get in touch with your inner voice.

Very often we ignore or suppress the thoughts that are uncomfortable for us to deal with. It’s that nagging feeling that tells us something is missing from our lives or that things could be better. When we continue to push these thoughts and feelings down, we cut ourselves off from the signals our emotions are telling us. Eventually we can get to a point where we find our life is so far removed from what we ever hoped for ourselves.

Make time to get in touch with your innermost thoughts and feelings. Start to listen to the voice in your head that questions the way things are. Allow it to speak. Once it does, you can start to ask it questions like, “Am I happy with the way things are?” Even our darkest thoughts can signal something important we need to face or change.

2. Think about how life would look if you stopped using the word “should.”

It’s easy to fall into the roles that other people expect of us. We all have an idea of what a parent, partner, friend, or employee should look like. We can be very demanding of ourselves to fit into that mold to the point that we sacrifice our happiness in pursuit of perfection. But what if you are meant for more than that?

Ask yourself, “What would my life look like if I didn't use the word ‘should’?” How would you act differently if you didn’t carry those expectations? Removing the word “should” from your vocabulary can shift your focus from what you feel obligated to do or be to what you look forward to doing, what brings you fulfillment, and who you ultimately want to become.

3. Seize the moment instead of waiting for the right conditions.

So often, we put pursuing the things we want on hold, waiting for the circumstances to be exactly right. We think, “When I get the confidence, I’ll go out for that promotion. When I retire, I’ll start pursuing my passions. When I feel inspired, I’ll write that book.” We put our dreams and goals on pause because the timing doesn’t seem right yet. But what happens if that perfect time never arrives?

Every moment is an opportunity to pursue the things that bring you fulfillment. Your life is happening right now. Remind yourself that you don’t need to wait for the perfect moment to start chasing the things you want because the perfect moment is now.

4. Expect to encounter pushback.

Whenever we make a big change in our lives, especially an important, life-altering one, there tend to be people who resist it. They may not understand or accept the change at first and so react with some level of pushback, judgment, resentment, or jealousy.

Embrace the fact that not everybody is going to be happy about your choices. Remind yourself that you aren’t living your life for the approval of other people. To live authentically is to live in alignment with your soul’s purpose in this world. Not everyone will understand this. Give others the space and time to adjust to your life changes, understanding that any big change takes a period of transition. Whether or not they eventually accept your changes is on them.

5. Ask for the support you need.

Although making big changes is ultimately for our own spiritual benefit, it doesn’t mean we need to do it all alone. The key to any thriving relationship or friendship is finding someone who also has a growth mindset like you. That means that you both embrace and seek change.

Change is a healthy part of any partnership built on unconditional love. If you both appreciate and respect the act of change, then no matter what problems you have, you can communicate and work through them together. Take the leap to ask for the support you need and offer it in kind when they need it. A healthy relationship is designed to navigate through big changes.

6. Understand positive changes can feel uncomfortable at first.

We often mistake comfort for happiness. Living a life that is just comfortable can be unrewarding and can keep us from growing in the powerful spiritual ways we are meant to. Chasing what we really want, on the other hand, can require stepping outside of our comfort zones. It requires bravery and hard work.

Big changes are difficult but ultimately rewarding. Making a change doesn’t necessarily guarantee happiness, but the pursuit of happiness can be even more fulfilling.

We aren’t meant to stay the same forever but to be in a process of constant evolution, growing and transforming into better and better versions of ourselves. We cannot reach our spiritual potential without change. Get in touch with what you really want from life and focus less on the expectations for what you “should” do or what others think about you. Seize the present, step outside of your comfort zone, and ask for support in this process. This is the key to creating a thriving life that is constantly evolving in powerful ways.

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