How Can I Feel More Confident? 3 Tips to Reframe Insecurity

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How Can I Feel More Confident? 3 Tips to Reframe Insecurity

Adapted from Monica and Michael Berg’s Spiritually Hungry podcast. Listen and subscribe here.
October 9, 2023
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When we think of insecurity, we often associate it with the things we lack or wish we had. But the truth is that no matter how successful, wealthy, talented, or beautiful someone is, everyone struggles with feelings of self-doubt and inadequacy. 

Companies make a lot of money by marketing to our insecurities, telling us what to feel bad about so that we will continue to buy their “remedies.” Social media has thrown fuel on this fire by widely broadcasting false images of beautiful bodies, scenic vacations, and seemingly perfect lives. It’s very easy to fall into the traps of insecurity that hold us back. Delving into the reasons and ways to get out of these traps is an important practice with unbound spiritual benefits. 

Here are 3 tips to reframe insecurity:

1. Take time to get in touch with who you are and what you believe. 

The reason we so often feel insecure is because we let ourselves be guided by many outside voices and opinions without being aware of our own internal driving force. It’s like playing pin the tail on the donkey – being blindfolded, spun around, and then trying to move forward without our bearings. A true sense of direction in life comes from learning who we are, what we believe, and what guides us.

Regardless of where you are in life, take the time to ask yourself what you believe. How well do you know yourself? Do you like who you are? Are you living according to what you really think is true and purposeful? By making your soul the true driver of your life and your decisions, not only will you be more secure, you will also start taking steps towards reaching your soul’s higher purpose. 

2. Focus less on what others think and say about you.

Imagine driving from New York City to Los Angeles without a GPS, stopping every hour to ask someone for directions, but each person you ask gives you the wrong information. You could be driving for 100 years and never get to your destination. That is, unfortunately, how many of us live our lives. We become so dependent on the opinions of others that we live our lives going in circles, failing to make true progress towards our soul’s purpose. The more voices in your head that are different than your soul’s voice, the less chance you will accomplish what you came to accomplish. 

Many people spend their day unhappy, worrying about what others are thinking of them. Life is too short to spend energy worrying about what other people think. Even if one person is happy with you, there will always be someone else to try and please or gain their approval. All that should matter is what you think about yourself – are you doing the right thing, and are you happy with what you are doing? 

3. Laugh at the silliness of your own insecurities. 

When we really take a hard look at our insecurities, they are comical. We know we can’t gain every person’s approval, yet we continue to try. We know that no one is perfect in every area, yet we hold ourselves to that standard. We know the images we see on social media are illusions, but we continue to compare ourselves to them. When we understand that insecurity is a distraction that keeps us from pursuing our soul’s work, it seems silly to worry about the way we are perceived or how much people like us. 

The next time you feel insecure about something, remind yourself how ridiculous it is. Laugh at yourself for caring what others think and say. Laugh at yourself for being influenced and made to feel insecure by other people, whether they are important or not. If you do that often enough and focus on your own path of growth and transformation, you will start to tune out the thoughts and words of other people that are only holding you back from reaching your greatest potential.

We all have moments of insecurity, but when they arise, we can use them as powerful learnings about ourselves. Use insecurity as an opportunity to learn about yourself. Ask yourself: Why am I feeling insecure? Why do I care about what this other person thinks or says? What do I think about myself? What is my truth? What is guiding me in my life? This moment of insecurity is a great opportunity and awakening for your powerful spiritual growth. 

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