How Can I Embrace Life’s Imperfections? 4 Tips to Ditch a Perfectionist Mindset

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How Can I Embrace Life’s Imperfections? 4 Tips to Ditch a Perfectionist Mindset

Adapted from Monica and Michael Berg’s Spiritually Hungry podcast. Listen and subscribe here.
January 3, 2022
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The word “imperfection” often has a negative connotation – a crack or flaw in the system that needs to be fixed, concealed, or avoided at all costs. But imperfections are actually a very necessary and important part of our existence. In fact, they are so perfectly designed by the Creator that they cannot really be considered imperfections at all!

What makes something “perfect” or not is only our perception. Yet, most of us still strive to achieve this idea of perfection, whether it’s in the way we view ourselves, the people around us, or the direction of our lives. And we often struggle to accept when things don’t look or go exactly the way we want. This can lead us to feel frustrated, depressed, insecure, or helpless. How do we break free of the perfectionist mentality and start accepting a messy life?

Here are 4 tips to start embracing life’s beautiful imperfections:

1. Let go of how things “should be,” and trust that the Universe has your best interest in mind. It’s easy to focus on one or two areas of our lives that don’t seem to be working and to obsess over improving them. We start thinking we know how things are supposed to be to the point that we forget there is a higher force that knows better than we do. We believe we know what a perfect life looks like, but really the Creator has already designed the perfect life for us, it just doesn’t match the image we have in our head.

Every challenge or bump in the road comes from the Creator for our benefit, even if you can’t see how at the time. We are not solely responsible for the situation we are in. There is a force that is directing our lives and creating situations that are perfect for us. There is no such thing as a perfect spouse, perfect child, or perfect job – only the ones that are perfectly designed for you.

Stop comparing yourself, those around you, and your life to what you think they “should” look like. Everything coming to you is for the benefit of your soul. Your responsibility is to find out what that is – to have enough awareness, curiosity, and self-love to look at each challenge and ask yourself, “How can I turn this challenge into a gift?”

2. Strive to make things better, not perfect. Everything that exists in this moment is perfectly designed for us, but that doesn’t mean we aren’t meant to change going forward.In fact, that is the entire point – our challenges push us to make positive change. We are meant to strive to make things better, but not for the goal of perfection.

Healthy striving is wanting to transform, create change, and move towards something that is different, while perfectionism is a futile quest to eliminate any perceived flaw. When we pursue change from a healthy mindset, it feels inspiring and connects us to the Universe.

3. Focus less on what you lack, and appreciate more the things you have. It’s only natural that we compare ourselves to other people. With the rise of social media, it’s become easier than ever to gain a peek into thousands of other lives. We sometimes buy into the glossy images we see and assume everybody else is perfect and that we are the only one with imperfections. In reality, everybody has differences, and that’s what makes us our most perfected selves.

Instead of focusing on what others have that you don’t, consider all of the people less fortunate than you. Remind yourself of all the gifts and blessings you have in your life that you take for granted. This is what awakens appreciation and brings us to fulfillment.

4. Accept that we are meant to have beautiful and unique differences. When we are growing up, we’re often conditioned to hide our differences. We want to fit in, avoid being teased, and for people to like us. Whether we realize it or not, we tend to continue this behavior throughout our adulthood, and it can lead us to be really hard on ourselves.

In reality, our flaws are what make us interesting, unique, and valuable. Our differences are not imperfections. The work that you are meant to do in this world and the Light you are meant to reveal can only be accomplished by being true to yourself. You are the only one that can do it!

Humans are not in the world to be perfect - the Creator already has countless perfect angels in Heaven. We are meant to live messy lives here in the physical world, working through our challenges, and pushing ourselves, failing and getting back up. The work is meant to be imperfect, and from that imperfection, we can find Light, transformation, and change.

Perfection is an illusion, not an attainable goal. Have certainty in the Creator’s design – know that things are exactly as they are meant to be in this moment, trust that you can make meaningful changes for the future, appreciate the blessings you have, and accept your beautiful differences. Shake free the weight of judgment and criticism that comes with a quest for perfection. This is the path to a happy, fulfilled life.

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