WHAT TO EXPECT THIS MONTH
Welcome to the month of Virgo—an earthy sign with internal influence of air. This sign, ruled by Mercury, is all about common sense. Structure, intellect, logic, practicality, efficiency, and perfectionism are some of the gifts (and challenges!) of this month, as those born under the sign well know.
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According to the wisdom of Kabbalah, our choices in the present – our words, actions, consciousness, and intentions – literally have the power to reshape and redefine our future. This is true during the weeks leading up to Rosh Hashanah, perhaps more than ever. The month of Virgo (Elul) is our golden opportunity before our new year is determined at Rosh Hashanah to pay attention to details, get in touch with our soul’s true God-like nature, and recognize the effect our behavior has on others. Through this spiritual work, we can ensure that our coming year will be filled with all the blessings we need to become the best version of ourselves.With that said, the tool we will focus on this month is teshuvah.
CLICK HERE to connect to our Virgo Study Guide and CLICK HERE to book a one-on-one forgiveness-guided meditation session with Alison Serour.
TIPS FOR PARENTS
- Virgo’s naturally quest for order and perfection. No other sign is said to have Virgo’s analytical, logical, and methodical capabilities, but their perfectionism can prevent them from seeing the bigger picture. This month we all want to be mindful of not getting too hung up in the details and instead try to zoom out to connect to the big picture as much as possible. What does this mean practically? Details are important and should not be disregarded, but when we fixate on details, we often fall into a feeling of lack. As a parent, it is easy to notice all of the little things that appear “wrong” or “off” each day – be it in yourself, your kids, your house, your routine, etc. When we give too much energy to these details, we rob ourselves of the simple joys that come with guiding young souls and having a family. For instance, if we’re upset that the food we made is being eaten when it’s no longer hot, we can miss out on enjoying the quality time with our loved ones, the jokes our kids are sharing at the dinner table, etc… which is really the bigger picture point of the meal anyway. Every time you notice yourself getting caught up in a detail – ask yourself – how important is this, really? What is the bigger picture here and how can I reconnect to it?
- Another side-effect of Virgo’s endless search for perfection is their tendency towards judgment. This month we are all a bit more vulnerable to judging ourselves and others. When you are attuned to details, it is natural to see more easily what is “wrong” or seems to need fixing, repair, etc. Take this as an opportunity to build greater acceptance and unconditional love. Every time you identify something “wrong” or “bad” in yourself or another – question your judgment – ask yourself: how can I shift from judgment to mercy here? Notice in particular where, when, how, and why you do this with your kids. What do you judge in your kids? How are these judgments a reflection of your relationship to yourself? How can you be more kind to yourself in order to extend this kindness to your kids?
- During the month of Virgo, we all have the ability to step up our game – to work harder and with more dedication, as diligence is one of the gifts of the month. None of us work hard all the time, and we all have reasons why. For some, it’s fear of failure. For others, it’s a laziness brought on by lack of self-care. Then there are those who are not spending their time doing things they truly love and care about, so there is no motivation to work hard. Now is the time to reflect on what is most important to you in your life and to put your maximum effort into these areas. Your maximum effort can only be gauged internally – it is not something you gauge by comparing yourself to others or something you calculate quantitatively, it’s all relative. Be mindful specifically not to compare yourself to other parents. Hard work looks very different from parent to parent. Also, spend time reflecting on where you’ve been struggling to work hard and dig deeper into why.
- One of the gifts of the sign of Virgo is their deep care for others and their ability to awaken the energy of healing. Each of us needs some form of healing in our lives, be it with ourselves, in our relationships, our health, finances, etc. The Kabbalists assert that consciousness is everything – our thoughts are the seed for everything that sprouts in our lives, so when we talk about healing, the first place to start is always our mind. Identify one area of your life you feel needs healing. Commit to unpacking your consciousness in this area for the next month. What are your negative limiting belief systems and how do they drive your feeling and actions in this area? What are new, positive belief systems or affirmations you want to enforce to replace the belief system that is clearly not serving you? Notice how the more effort you put into healing yourself, the more you are able to truly care for others.
- Criticism. No one likes it, but everyone is quick to dish it out. This month is a time when we may find ourselves feeling hyper-critical as criticism is often closely linked to judgment. It is important to differentiate between unhealthy criticism and healthy feedback. Unhealthy criticism is when we tell others what we believe to be wrong with them for the sake of alleviating our own tension – our frustration, impatience, annoyance, discomfort, etc. Healthy feedback is when we notice something seemingly unproductive or negative in another person, and we bring it to their attention for their sake, not our own. Healthy feedback is rooted in love. When we love someone, we truly want the best for them, so when we identify something negative they’re doing, we want them to know about it only for the sake of transforming and growing from it. Before you comment on what you feel is wrong with someone else, ask yourself – is this unhealthy criticism or healthy feedback? Also, ask yourself the same question when you receive criticism. Sometimes we take criticism extremely personally when it’s more a reflection of the other person’s character than ours. Other times we dismiss important feedback because our ego’s defenses go up, and we aren’t quite ready to face some part of ourselves yet. It is important to be mindful of the source and to know which messages to take in and which messages to let go of.
TIPS FOR KIDS
- Virgos naturally quest for order and perfection. Virgos have powerful minds, but their perfectionism can prevent them from seeing the bigger picture. This month we all want to be mindful of not getting too hung up in the details and instead try to zoom out to connect to the big picture as much as possible. What does this mean practically? Details are important and should not be disregarded, but when we fixate on details, we often fall into a feeling of lack. For instance, in school, you are graded on multiple assignments over the course of the year – homework, quizzes, tests, projects, etc. Sometimes you receive one bad grade, and it feels like you’re failing the class completely. You may feel stupid, ashamed, even angry. This is an example of getting too caught up in the detail. The bigger picture is that you have many more opportunities to do well in the class, and no one grade reflects who you are as a student. Every time you notice yourself getting caught up in a detail – ask yourself – how important is this, really? What is the bigger picture here, and how can I reconnect to it?
- Another side-effect of Virgo’s endless search for perfection is their tendency towards judgment. This month we are all a bit more vulnerable to judging ourselves and others. When you notice the little details, it is natural to see more easily what is “wrong.” Take this as an opportunity to build greater acceptance and unconditional love. Every time you identify something “wrong” or “bad” in yourself or another – question your judgment – ask yourself: how can I shift from judgment to love and kindness here? Notice in particular where, when, how, and why you do this with yourself. What do you judge about yourself? How can you be more kind to yourself in order to extend this kindness to others as well?
- During the month of Virgo, we all have the ability to step up our game – to work harder and with more dedication, as diligence is one of the gifts of the month. None of us work hard all the time, and we all have reasons why. For some, it’s fear of failure. For others, we feel a lack of energy that makes us lazy. Then there are those who are not spending their time doing things they truly love and care about, so there is no motivation to work hard. Now is the time to reflect on what is most important to you in your life and to put your maximum effort into these areas. Only you know when you are working hard, doing your best – it is not something you can measure by comparing yourself to others, it’s between you and yourself.
- One of the gifts of the sign of Virgo is their deep care for others and their ability to awaken the energy of healing. Every day there are people around us in need of more care and love. Maybe it’s a family member, friend, your pet, etc. Practice paying more attention to who around you can benefit from your care and love, then ask yourself – what can I do to express more care and love? Maybe it means asking people “how are you” more and truly listening when they share. Maybe it means letting people know what you appreciate about them. Then there are people who love little gifts – sentimental cards, being surprised with flowers or their favorite food, etc. Try to get creative in the ways you express love and care to the different people in your life.
- Criticism. No one likes it, but everyone is quick to dish it out. This month is a time when we may find ourselves feeling hyper-critical as criticism is often closely linked to judgment. It is important to differentiate between unhealthy criticism and healthy feedback. Unhealthy criticism is when we tell others what we believe to be wrong with them, so we feel better… so we get rid of our uncomfortable feelings of frustration, impatience, annoyance, hurt, etc. Healthy feedback is when we notice something negative in another person, and we tell them about it for their sake, not our own. Healthy feedback comes from love. When we love someone, we truly want the best for them, so when we see something negative they’re doing, we want them to know about it so they can be better. Before you comment on what you feel is wrong with someone else, ask yourself – is this unhealthy criticism or healthy feedback? Also, ask yourself the same question when you receive criticism. Sometimes we take criticism extremely personally when it’s more a reflection of the other person’s character than ours. Other times we dismiss important feedback from others because our ego’s defenses go up, and we aren’t quite ready to face some part of ourselves yet. It is important to be mindful of the source and to know which messages to take in and which messages to let go of. It is always a good idea to ask your parents what they think when you receive criticism from someone else; they can help you differentiate between unhealthy criticism and healthy feedback.
72 NAMES
The Kabbalists teach that the 72 Names of God are powerful instruments we can use to align our soul with different expressions or spiritual frequencies of the Light of the Creator. Each 72 Name of God is associated with a specific set of days in the Kabbalistic calendar. By connecting to the name associated with each set of days, we gain key insights into the opportunities available to us during these days.
- Elul 1-5 (Lamed Kaf Bet – Finish What You Start): If you have ever watched a marathon, you have seen the incredible journey that runners experience. A tiring and difficult one that literally goes on for miles and miles. Then, however, comes the joy of crossing the finish line. We all love to start new things, but the idea for this month is to focus our way to the finish line and to see something through to the end. Choose one area in which you want to make a shift, and then commit to one solid effort you can make towards that change.
- Elul 6-10 (Vav Shin Resh – Memories): How many of us remember what we had for lunch three Tuesdays ago? My guess is not many. But I bet if we went out for a great meal with friends to discuss how we were going to do something that would help someone else, we’d remember the meal, no problem. We might even remember all the details of what we ordered and how everything tasted. It would be a pleasant memory, one perhaps imprinted in our minds for a while to come. The reason for this is because when we are engaged and involved with others, we escape the bondage of the “me” and connect ourselves with the Light inside us. Think back on the best times of your life. You will most likely find that there was someone else there to enjoy the time or the feeling with you. Focus on how you can create more memories like this!
- Elul 11-15 (Yud Chet Vav – Revealing the Dark Side): Kabbalists teach that one of the most powerful ways to grow is through consistent self-reflection; taking an honest inventory of who we are and how we behave as human beings, specifically to identify where we can improve. Identifying our vulnerabilities, mistakes, negative tendencies, etc. is done for the sake of growing, not so we can beat ourselves up and drown in guilt or shame. Practice being more open to recognizing where and how you can potentially change for the better. Practice coming face to face with your darkness and remembering your essence is Light, so there is nothing to fear or judge.
- Elul 16-20 (Lamed Hei Chet – Forget Thyself): It is human nature to experience cycles of highs and lows throughout our lives. When blessings come our way and lift us up, we feel good and are more likely to bring Light into the world through kindness and acts of sharing. If we’re honest with ourselves, we know that when we feel good, this isn’t hard to do. It’s when we experience challenges in life that we must put in the extra effort to stay positive and share the Light. Over the next few days, if and when you find yourself down, even just tired, push yourself to do an act of sharing, even something simple. See how energizing this simple act can be.
- Elul 21-25 (Kuf Vav Kaf – Sexual Energy): We’ve all experienced stagnation, be it in a relationship, work, health, etc. According to Kabbalah, the force of creation is a constant force; it flows endlessly. Anytime we disconnect from this force through our desire to receive for the self alone, we can find ourselves feeling stuck, uninspired, not growing, or creatively blocked. Identify an area of your life that feels stuck and start asking yourself – how can I connect back to the force of creation here? We know in order to attract the Light of the Creator, we must be like the Light of the Creator. So, what qualities of the Light are you being invited to embody more deeply? Love, mercy, sharing, compassion, courage?
- Elul 26-30 (Mem Nun Daled – Fearless): What scares you? Speaking in front of an audience? Elevators? Looking silly in front of your peers? Flying? No matter how great or insignificant, fear is a part of our daily lives. We can hardly escape it. Whether we realize it or not, fear has an impact on our decisions, the opportunities we embrace or ignore, even the friends we make. It finds a way into our consciousness and tweaks our future. Ignoring our fears does nothing to diminish them. So, how do we confront our fears, dispel them, and move on with our lives more courageous than before? It starts with first becoming aware of what we’re afraid of and why. We highly recommend checking out the exercises featured in Fear is Not an Option (by Monica Berg) to work on your fears more in-depth!
SUGGESTED ACTIVITIES
- Parents: Kabbalists have practiced teshuvah for centuries as a way of repenting and clearing the slate so they can invite more positivity and blessings into their lives. It is something we can do any time we recognize that we have wronged someone or acted in a way that is less than kind and compassionate. Yet, during the month of Virgo, as we approach Rosh Hashanah, we can all use teshuvah as a way to reflect and prepare for the most important spiritual days of the year: the High Holidays. We recommend going through the recommended teshuvah exercise as much as desired this month. CLICK HERE to access our teshuvah handout, and CLICK HERE for a teshuvah-guided meditation. As a parent specifically, we encourage you to give extra focus to forgiving yourself for any perceived parenting mistakes you’ve made, as well as forgiving others you’ve blamed for situations that caused you and your children distress.
- Kids: This month, it is a powerful time to challenge your kids to reflect on the past year, specifically thinking about what they would like to do differently in this coming year – where they feel they made mistakes and where they feel they need to forgive themselves and or others. It is crucial to remind kids that every human being makes mistakes, constantly, and the purpose of reflecting is not to beat ourselves up or feel guilty, but rather to learn and make better choices moving forward.
EXPAND YOUR CONSCIOUSNESS
- CLICK HERE to connect to our Virgo Study Guide!
- CLICK HERE to book a one-on-one forgiveness guided meditation session with Alison Serour
